November 20, 2013

Full On.

About half of my entries have first been written out, saved, previewed, and second guessed. I've put off posts for a year before, leaving drafts outstanding on my page just waiting for publishing. Right now I have five posts pending publishing, geeze. Sometimes it seems too personal or vulnerable, other times I just feel like I have posted too often or seem too enthusiastic.  My posts from Korea were not wordy, and the text was mostly informative, with more directions than opinions, things that did not matter to the people I care about. Ultimately it is cooler to be slightly disinterested than passionately obsessed. 

But what is the point of it all if I can't completely throw myself into something that makes me happy? Do I give a care in the world if one of my facebook "friends" thinks I post too many blog links or photos? Do I stop gushing about something I love because a situational "friend" tells me that was cool when she was like, 14 years old? Do I allow some nameless person's possible judgement of me influence my behavior? Personally, no. I've decided I am just too old to be worrying about the little details like that.

Thank you, PostSecret, for constantly inspiring. 

The fact of the matter is that people are already judging. People are questioning your motives and finding you completely lacking in some way. And that is part of being human. People who really know you, who have had the amazing opportunity to see beyond the public persona and get to know who you truly are wouldn't ever make those judgements. 

Again, PostSecret

So now, at the wise, old age of 25, I have come to realize that I can only be enough for myself and the people I love. I spend every single day working on being the best person, daughter, teacher, and friend I can. I am actively trying to make the most of every day I have and love with my whole heart. So, that means I committed to it and bought the flashy, red, matte lipstick by MAC that I coveted for years AND the sweet leather jacket that makes me feel brave. If people are going to judge me anyway, why not do whatever makes my heart sing? 

1 comment:

  1. You are a brave and beautiful soul. Let everyone see the real you, they too will love you.